CRY IT OUT: Night #1

As some of you may already know, I've been very frustrated lately at the lack of consistency WD's sleep pattern has had. He'd sleep all the way through the night 1 night, but not the next. Then again sleep all the way though the night, and the next night be up 3 different times! It was really messing with me. I used to be a person who didn't need much sleep, but apparently I'm no longer that person. I NEED SLEEP! I can still get by on the occasional disruption due to WD being ill, but lately I knew there wasn't anything wrong with him (other than possibly teething, and that's going to continue for some time). My frustration was growing, AND GROWING with each inconsistent night that passed.

Yesterday I came to the realization that I've done this to my child (with a little help from Dave). I've turned this loving, super-sweet little guy into a night-time-attention-driven-little-devil. Don't get me wrong, I know he's still the sweet little guy, but not as sweet and easy as he used to between the hours of 9pm-7am. So I reached out to other recent mommies in my life for suggestions (even though in the back of my mind, I think I knew that needed to be done). I got support, and some different ideas, but mostly found a lot of them were struggling with the same problem. Their good sleepers, had all of a sudden taken on these new behaviors.

When my niece/friend actually told me what I knew all along. That I needed to get tough and get WD back on track, and stop spoiling him. Her suggestion for this was the "Cry It Out" method (aka The Ferber Method http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc ). She said that her pediatrician gave her a pamphlet on it when she complained about her son's sleeping behaviors. So I went home last night and thought that we'd need to give it a try.

MY ORIGINAL THOUGHTS:
"This is going to suck." I can't stand to hear WD cry, it's worse than nails on a chalk board to me. How on earth will I get through this? I'll have to sleep in the basement (2 levels below his nursery), and even then will probably pace the floor. Then march up stairs and demand that Dave get out of my way and let me hold my poor-crying-helpless-little-love.

MY THOUGHTS DURING THE NIGHT:
"F--K IT." Yep - I said it - and I said it in reference to my child. I know that doesn't make me a bad mommy, just a stretched-too-far-mommy. Now let me explain what that was said in reference to.
Dave (and my niece/friend) thought we had better try this over the weekend in order to be able to handle how upset WD would be and therefore handle how little sleep we would get. Then I said that I wanted to put him to bed without the rocking that we had been doing, so that he could start getting used to that. Dave agreed and suggested that be the only change we make until this weekend. But it was 9:30pm and WD had been bathed, fed (which he refused to eat much), changed into his pajamas, and was ready for bed...and all he wanted to do was play. So I made sure he had a few safe toys in his crib and I put him to bed. He immediately screamed. I would put my hand around the wall every 3-4 minutes to dim the lights more until they were completely off. And within 15-20 minutes he had cried himself to sleep. We made sure he was covered and went to bed ourselves.
I shut my light off at 10pm (I had been reading during WD's crying), and at 10:15pm was awakened by crying. I suggested we ignore it, but Dave begged me to get up this time, and he'd take the next round. So I begrudgingly got up to check on WD. Walked in to see he was still laying down and covered up! "Cr*p!" I thought, "I shouldn't be in here!" But before I could turn around I had been spotted. I put my hand on his back and reassured him he was OK. I was out of there within 60 seconds as this is when I thought "F--k it". I knew he was fine, he was in a clean diaper, he was safe, warm and FINE... I was going to go back to bed. I no sooner got settled into bed when Dave got up to silence WD. 10 or so minutes later Dave was back in bed, and WD was asleep. Then again at 11:15pm = crying. Dave got up and took care of things "as usual" (bottle & rocking, and then to bed when done with the bottle). Then crying again at 2:30am. I checked on him and again had my "F--- it" thoughts, and reassured myself that I had programmed WD to do this, and I needed to program him NOT to do it anymore, or he would just keep doing it! I'M NOT GOING TO ENABLE HIM!!! (ha ha ha - work joke) So I didn't get him out of bed, I just reassured him and turned around and went back to bed. He was still crying/screaming at 2:55am, so I got up to check on him. I got him in a clean diaper (he wasn't that bad, but changed him anyway), offered an old bottle which he refused, offered Tylenol in case it was his teeth, hugged him and put him back to bed at 3:00am. By 3:20am he was asleep so I covered him up and went back to bed.

MY THOUGHTS AT 8am THIS MORNING:
Dave woke me up at 7:45, and I had to wake WD up at 8:00am as he was sound asleep. I really think it was a success. I think it's totally do-able and plan to continue this tonight. WD was still smiley this morning, and acted as if nothing had happened last night. I too know this doesn't mean that I'm heartless, or that I am being cruel. It simply means that I'm trying to instill some consistency in my family's lives, and therefore from some healthy patterns....if we can continue to follow through!

Wow - this totally makes me think of BF Skinner....it's all about programming. I'll keep you all posted as we continue this "experiment".